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problems in life….need sincere guidance

Q:

Assalamulalaikum…… i want to ask how can i find Allah in my life? i have lost my connection with him .. i am a muslim and belong to a very strict religious family but for the past 3 years i am in a long distance realtionship with a guy whom i love more than anything else in the world i know its forbidden in islam to talk to a boy before marriage but i dont want to leave him i just can’t live without him but the problem is in these 3 years i have lost myself somewhere whenever i try to make a dua i feel like i m too bad to ask for forgiveness from Allah .. Allah doesn’t like me he doesn’t want me to pray because he might be angry with him as i am not leaving that guy …… i cannot even share these feelings to anyone in my home because they ain’t gonna understand me i sometimes i ask to Allah why he has sent that guy into my life i never wanted him but now i am too much attached to him that i cannot imagine my life without my love …..is there any way that i continue to talk to that guy and at the same time i can have Allah in my life ? i need Allah i need him to solve my problems i need him to get me far apart from all these worldly things

A: